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Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivation. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

January 28, 2020

Emotional Freedom


Control your emotions so that your emotions don’t control you.


 Where do the emotions come from?


We think that our emotions are created by the external environment. When there is a happy situation going on like when you get money or meet your favorite person, you get happy. When you lose something or your favorite person, you get sad. When something is going on of your dislike, you get angry. When you are going to have something that makes you happy, you get excited. But that’s not true.

What going outside is not controlling your emotions. It is you who is controlling them and you can absolutely change! Our emotions are controlled by our thinking. Two persons facing same situation may be think differently at that situation.


How to control our emotions?


We can’t control what is going on in external environment but we can control our thinking. If in a sad situation you will think about happy things you’ll get happy and in a happy situation if you’ll think about sad things you’ll get sad.



We are scared of something because we think of the things in a way that we get afraid of that thing. Suppose anybody is afraid of dark it is because whenever it gets dark he thinks that dark is going to eat him up or something is going to happen with him in the dark and he can’t protect himself because he can’t see anything. If he doesn’t think any of it he’ll not be scared.


What if you get embarrassed in front of someone?


 Don’t think too much of the embarrassment just think that wasn’t too much embarrassment.

Have you ever go to a place and you know that there is a bad spot on your shirt. You’ll meet everyone and everybody’s attention goes to that spot that’s not because they see it that’s because you don’t want them to see it.

 You’ll try to hide that spot and all the time there would be one thing going on your mind that may nobody finds that spot and see it. Well you are giving him signals to see it how not he will see it. While on the other hand if you don’t know about that spot, you’ll not think about that spot and nobody’s attention will go to that spot. So it’s all in your mind that does everything.


Controlling emotions is a power.


What if you master your all emotions? You’ll not scared of the things when others will get scared of them. You’ll not get sad when anybody tries to make you sad. You’ll not get embarrassed of the situations of which you used to be so embarrassed. You’ll not ashamed of anything. You’ll not get jealous when somebody tries to make you jealous and most importantly you’ll not get angry at the people or on the things.


How to control your anger?




Anger is the emotion that should be controlled. When you are angry you are not the person that you actually are.

Controlling anger is not that hard but it may be for some of the people.
 All you have to do is

 “Don’t react straight away at any situation.”  




Our neurological response of anger is just 2 seconds after that we are just over reacting. Firstly open your eyes see what is actually happening then react in your most possible calm way. Being angry at any person can’t solve any problem. 

Most of the big decisions of life are not taken correctly because of anger. So you are not going to suffer afterwards due to your 2 seconds anger response, you are going to suffer because of your over reacting.


How to stay happy?




Staying happy spreads a positive energy in to the environment. Daily we miss a lot of small things at which we can be happy. Don’t miss those things. You have a lot of things that others don’t have. If you lose something you’ll still have a lot of things that others don’t have so don’t take them for granted. Don’t miss any chance of getting happy.

There are little things that can help you to stay happy like:

Sit up straight. Your posture tells a lot about you. A straight posture helps to stay happy and more confident.


Do exercise. Exercise opens your mind to positive things. It helps you to stay calm in panic situations. It also helps to alleviate the tension.

Improve your diet. Eat to be happy. Eat the things that make you happy but stick to the healthy ones.


Improve your sleep. Waking up in the morning with a full energy really helps to stay happy throughout the day.


Smile! Smile at things you don’t like. Smile at people you don’t like. Smile at people who don’t like you. Smiling makes a lot of difference and it also helps others to get happy and smile. A small smile can really make someone’s day. There is even a smile day celebrated in the world.



Connect with others. Most of the connection is done when you smile watching at any one. Whenever you go to any party or any event, talk to others, show them that you want to learn about them.

Distract yourself from bad things. If anything bad happens or you don’t like anything, distract yourself from that thing. Think about anything else.

Think positive. It all depends upon your thoughts. Thinking positive will help you a lot to stay happy.


Liberation

Being emotionally stable is a great liberation. Liberation from emotions mean liberation from negative emotions. Of course we can’t totally get rid of all the negative emotions but we can practice not to show them. 

Negative emotions are not all bad they also have a purpose but don’t let them dominate at you. you can’t stay happy at a death of someone you loved, you have to grieve, a little grieving is essential at that time. Also after a negative emotion you get to feel the positive one more.

Suppressing negative emotions will not make you happy. If you’ll keep suppressing your anger, one day you are going to blow up one day with that anger. Practicing to get less angry will make you to get less angry and you don’t have to suppress your anger or any other emotions.



Also if you master your emotions, you are going to be free. Free of hatred, free of bad situations, free of anxiety and free of every bad thing that is going to happen.



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Thursday, January 23, 2020

January 23, 2020

Serve the People


Service: Action of love




Service or love?



Loving someone makes us to serve him and service leads to salvation. First come the people which are close to us. Our parents, our siblings, our children and our friends. We have to serve our parents because they served us. Then we serve our siblings and friends because we love them.

What about the people who can’t walk on their own, who can’t eat on their own, who can’t listen to the world, who can’t speak for themselves. What about those children who wake up early in the morning but can’t go to the school instead they go to different hotels or to the roads to polish the shoes to get some money for their old parents and little siblings. Do they want us to love them? No! They want us to serve them.

To serve them you can do a lot of different things. If you want to serve then serving is much easier than you think. You have to do nothing but just some of the following things:


Volunteer


There are a lot of different drives going on for needy people like a winter drive. You can easily give your worn out warm clothes in those drives. You can volunteer for the people who work as servants in your homes. If you don’t find any drive, you can give your things to them.



Teach



If you don’t want to give your things to others then you can simply teach the children who are unable to go to school and get education. You can start a free tuition. You can give your old books and bags to the children of your servants.


Donate


You can freely donate money. You can easily donate blood.



Feed


You can feed the hungry children in the streets and roads. What is it going to take, a little time of yours or a little money? That money is going to come back to you in double amount.



This was about the people who we don’t know and I am pretty sure that many of you would be doing it. What about the people who we love? Are we serving them properly? No we are not.


How can we serve the people we love?


Talk to them


Most of us are living far from our mothers, our fathers and siblings. In our daily work we give them a very little time. Talk to them with love for just five to ten minutes daily. What are those five minutes? Many of such five minutes we have wasted in the toilets thinking about useless things.


Listen to them


If somebody listens to you every time that person is going to be your favorite so why not you listen to your friends and siblings about their problems or to your mother and father about how was their day. Be a better listener.


Be always there for them


Make sure that you should always be there when they want you to be there. When they want you to help them, you help them. When they want you to love them, love them.

Saying someone that we love you even if we don’t love them is very easy, serving someone is an actual deal. Turns out service is always going to be at a bigger scale than love. Prefer service to love. Serving someone is better than loving someone. But love do make us to serve.


Selfless service


Service basically means to help a person and not wanting anything in return. But today the society in which we live we do nothing in which we do not get a reward. We wake up daily and go to work. We do our jobs because we know that we will get a reward in the form of our pay.

 Nobody will do a job for anybody if he is not going to get anything in return. We do help people but the thing which is on our minds is the reward.Everybody wants something in return of everything they do. Nobody has ever thought of the gratitude for doing something selflessly.

 Getting money is a good thing everybody gets happy when they get money after the work they have done. But have you ever thought of the joy you get when you help someone and that person prays for you or tell you that you are a good soul or even write you a thank you note.


 Money is not going to be there for you when you need it. Those blessings will be there for you when you need them.

If you help someone, that person will think about helping someone else. A beauty will be spreading everywhere. Nobody will be getting sad in that beauty. Nobody will be crying for not going to school or not having anything to eat. No mother will be thinking that his son who was actually partying with his friends didn’t call her because he was busy. Nobody will be feeling lonely in that beautiful world.

Help someone, if not with the money then just with your ears. Listen to the people who want to talk. Listen to those children who want to tell someone what they want. Listen to the people who work at your home. They have a lot to say. This is service! Not that you claim to love someone and when they truly need you, you are not even there for them.

Trust me once you have felt the joy and gratitude after helping someone and not wanting anything in return you won’t stop helping. And if you sit and ponder about the existence of the man or why the man is send to the earth? The answer is SERVICE!




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Wednesday, January 22, 2020

January 22, 2020

The Psychology of Fear


Put your fear in to action




Fear make simple things complicated.  We can do a simple task in just a few minutes but if we have fear to do it we can’t do it in our lifetime. Everybody has a fear of something, nobody is born with them  some fears are developed by the time, by different situations we face in our lives. I have seen a lot of people having different and strange type of fears. Let’s talk about some of them.


Fear of love


Being in love is probably the most wonderful feeling in this world but there are people who get scared of being in love. Being in love is not the same for them as it is for us. They are so used to being hated by the people that they fear to get into a situation where people truly love them. Life has shown them such a tragedy that they think of the world as a place where people hurt each other. Most people have a fear of intimacy. They get terrified when they get close to someone. 


Fear of love can be overcome by facing it. May be the last time you were in love wasn’t love or maybe you were in love with the wrong person. Not all the people are alike. There are people who can show you that being in love is still a wonderful feeling in the world.


Fear of losing people


Some people fear of loving someone because they fear of losing them. They fear that they may fall badly in love with them and may get so attached with them that when those people want to go away from them they may get hurt.


 People are not going to stay forever they are going to leave you one day no matter how hard you try. If you are truly in love with them you should let them go. Don’t try too much to make them stay for you. What you are going to have by having the fear to lose them is just ruin your time with them. Life is so uncertain maybe before you lose them, they lose you.


Fear of being alone


When we have fear of losing people we actually are scared of being alone. We see people destroying themselves in their loneliness so we are scared of that loneliness. Being alone is not going to eat you up. In fact you need some time alone after some body has gone from your life. Use that alone time in exploring your own self. You are not going to be actually alone because you will be with yourself. Make yourself better at that time. Work on yourself at that time.


Fear of pain


People are scared of getting hurt. When they are scared of being in love and of losing the people they love, they are actually scared of the fact that when those people will leave them they’ll get hurt. Getting hurt will always make you stronger. When something hurts you, you’ll never do that thing again. You choose wrong people, expect them to love you and live with you. When they don’t, you get hurt. But being in pain at that time makes you choose the right people next time.

 What if you again choose the wrong people, again love them and again get hurt. Nothing is going to happen. Make yourself resilient. Pain is not going to break you, it is only going to make you stronger.


Fear of doing something for the first time:


We all have fear of starting something new. We all have experiences of getting scared to go to the stage in front of all people for the first time. But once you have done it all the fear is gone.


 So you just need to think that you can do it and just do it. If you don’t do it right and people laugh at you, that’s totally OK because you are hundred times better, standing at a higher level stage than those who are standing at a lower level and laughing at you, they don’t even have courage to go to the stage and do that. People who know how to do that have already faced that laughing people situation in their lives. They would not be laughing at your time because they know how much it takes to do it perfectly.


Fear of criticism




We fear of doing something new because we are scared of being criticized by the people. We fear that people would disapprove of what we think. Don’t take criticism personally. People just know how to speak and don’t know how to do it. Some people criticize you just because they are resentful of what you have. They are born to be critical. But if there would be no critique there would be no success. Criticism makes you to think over your work again and you do it more properly than ever before.


Fear of failure


I think that fear of failure is the biggest fear we have. But it should be not. Nobody in this world has achieved what he has in the first attempt. There are a lot of people who have set the examples of success from countless times failure.


 Abraham Lincoln lost his business, lost his wife, got panic attacks and a nervous breakdown, got failed several times for electing as the president but he didn’t stop trying and was elected 16th president of United Sates of America.


Michael Jordan have missed thousands of shots in his career, he has lost a lot of games but failing again and again is why he succeed. He didn’t even have the natural skills to play the basketball. He also didn’t reach the minimum height but by his efforts and practice after getting failed again and again has made him a star today and today he is motivating others to get succeed.



Fear of future


Everybody fears of the unknown. Nobody knows what will happen in the next five minutes. Nobody knows whether he is going to wake up tomorrow or not. But why do we get terrified by the things we don’t even know. We don’t want our friends to give us spoilers of movies and TV shows just because we want to enjoy the suspense. We like a movie which has an unpredictable ending. Why don’t we enjoy the suspense of our lives? Because we are afraid of bad things that will happen in future.

 Thinking makes everything different. If we think that something bad is going to happen that’s absolutely going to happen. According to a research people who drive fast are less likely to get accidents then people who drive slow but think that they will get accident. We are afraid of future because of our own doubts.



We can overcome all these doubts of losing people, of getting lonely, being criticized, getting failed and happening bad things in the future by having FAITH and COURAGE in your own self. Once you have faced all these fears, you are no more getting afraid.


Fear of death




Death is an actual scary word. Some people are scared of their death while others are scared of the way in which they would die. But thinking of the death all the time will not make you live, you will die anyway, only you will spoil the life you have got. In fact thought of being mortal in this world makes you overcome many of your fears, like fear of losing someone! Because you are not going to live here without him forever.

Franklin Roosevelt has said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

 So don’t be afraid of anything, stand straight against the fears you have and comment below what kind of fears do you have. Don’t be afraid of commenting your fear;)



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Tuesday, January 21, 2020

January 21, 2020

What Is Toxic Masculinity?

Probably you have heard about these two words "toxic" and "masculinity". Toxic is the word we hear daily which means something poisonous which dissolves something or somebody from the outer surface to the core. While masculinity is referring to the men.


                                                                        
We live in a male dominant society in which men think of themselves the strongest creatures of Allah and think of women a waste on this earth. Indeed Islam has given power and strength to a man to work and manage their house expenses but they use it beating up a woman. This is the cause of a lot of fights in the society specially the one we live in. It depends a lot on the man’s nature. Not all of them are like this but who are, have nothing to do but to degrade their wives and their daughters. Why don’t you go and say all these things to your mother and sisters. They think that they are always right even when they are wrong and when they are proven wrong, and don't have any answer they use their hands converting their rage into bruises and wounds on the women.

There are two scenarios in the society. One in which the woman is a working lady and other in which she is a house wife. The one in which the woman is a house wife every expense is on the man and so he just thinks that the woman is senseless and a waste just made to produce children and by children I mean boys (the male dominance) but why that woman is a house wife, why she didn’t study enough to get a job or studied but did not apply for a job? Again because of that man who said at the time of getting married that women are not made to work they are just made to do house chores and give birth to boys.  At that time she accepted his this condition just because of his parents in order to make them happy.

On the other hand suppose at the time of getting married he didn’t say that he wants a woman who just sits in the house wait for him and take care of his four times a day meal (of course he has to get stronger to beat that woman) and be a sex machine for him. So the woman continues her job then for how much time is he going to shut up about that. One day he’ll absolutely speak up about that and force her to lose her job. I don’t get these men if you want a woman who doesn’t go to a job then marry a woman who does not want to do the job why are you marrying the girls having passion about their career and then not allowing them to continue their studies and just destroying their career and passions.
                                                                                
Women always want their marriage to work, men are those who destroy the marriages. Such men are beasts and are toxic for our society dangerous to all of the women of the world. They think that they can’t be a man without being toxic but toxicity is not important for being masculine. Such men should be just exempted from this world. When a woman starts to compromise there is then a long list of things on which she has to compromise. Then for how much time she’s going to do compromise there would be a point in her life when she’ll just get tired of accepting everything and doing compromises. At that time she’ll speak up about that but at that time it would be too late to speak up. Speaking up would not make any difference the man will still remain dominant.
Only a woman can get out of this toxicity is by speaking up at the right time at the time when she is about to make the first compromise whether it is to quit her studies, quit her job, quit her longings and desires, or in short quit her life. But this always doesn’t work out because when she’s going to speak up about that then what’s next she will get out of her husband’s house and go to her father’s house, that father who forced her to get married to that dangerous man, that father who may also beat her mother and degrade her. What she will do at that time. So she has to be independent of her father and her husband. She should has her resources of money and food. When she’ll not depend on anybody and will only depend on herself she will survive alone in this world easily and no toxic man will try to harm her. But of course why is she going to speak up she has to take care of the name of her parents in the society.

                                                                                            
Not all the men are toxic like this some are still alive who respect the woman as she is the mother of his children and the love of his life. But such men are in a very minute quantity and I fear of the time when they’ll also be just vanished from the world. Most of these men are now becoming a target of toxic women. Yes there are not only toxic men but some women are also toxic and such toxic women just destroy the men which are not toxic they should get a man who is toxic like them. These toxic men are not only dangerous for women but also for other men of the society.

All the things and facts end on the word of “respect” if you are a man and you don’t respect  a woman then you are not more than just a piece of shit. And so is for a woman. Marriage is a very beautiful relationship in the world but due to toxicity it has now become the most fearful thing. Children just watch their father and mother fighting daily and set up their minds not to get married. All we have to do is to eradicate the toxicity from the environment or why don’t all these toxic men get disappeared from the world so that all can live in peace. But of course that is not going to happen then for how much time a woman is going to be punished for being a woman?

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January 21, 2020

Prescription for Self-Love

Power of Self love



Being selfish is considered a bad thing but being a little selfish is mandatory for our health. In our lives we do a lot of things in fact all the things for the happiness of others have we ever thought about our own happiness. Well now you’d say that we do things for others because we love them but that’s not going to make us happy. We spent the whole day in the office to make our boss happy or in the school to make our teachers happy or with our friends to make them happy but we have never spend time with ourselves to make us happy. We have a lot of love to give it to others but we don’t have love for ourselves.

Many of us try to find the happiness outside in the world. We make friends so that they love us and make us happy. Whenever we are sad we talk to our favorite persons or watch a TV show to find happiness but what we are trying to find outside in the world is inside ourselves. There is a famous story of a deer who one day smelt a fragrance called musk. Musk is a very famous natural fragrance especially in the Middle East countries. That fragrance made it crazy and it spend its whole life running in the jungle to find that fragrance but one day it realized that it was coming from its own body. Musk is produced in a gland in the body of a deer. So it spend its whole life in finding that outside but actually it was coming from its inside. That’s how we try to find love by loving others in the world but how you can love others when you don’t have enough love for your own self.

How to love yourself?


When you love a person you do the following things:
·         You try to know him.
·         You try to respect him.
·         You listen to him.
·         You trust him.
·         You make a positive image of him.
·         You care about him.
·         You make him your priority.
·         He becomes perfect in your eyes.
·         You make him your strength.

Now consider yourself as another person and try to:

Know yourself



How can you know yourself? Just like you know others. Know your identity what you are. Observe yourself in different situations how you react. See if you are transient or intransient. See what is your behavior to others or simply just stand in front of a mirror and talk about yourself, what are you, what you have done in your life and what you want to do.

Respect yourself

We want others to respect us and if someone show us discourtesy we find that devastating. Self-respect is obligatory. If you don’t treat yourself for respect how can you expect others to respect yourself, Value yourself. Think of you the most imperious and respectable person in the world.

Listen to yourself


Daily we do a lot of things that we don’t want to do. Unwillingly we take a lot of decisions. Stop doing that to yourself! Whenever you are doing something, try to listen to yourself what you want to do. Before every decision you take, listen to yourself first. Sometimes our body and mind are telling us clearly that what we should do but we don’t listen to them. We still do what people want us to do.



Trust yourself


Some of us often know what we want, we listen to ourselves but we don't trust ourselves. We don't trust our instincts. We think that others are better than us and so they'll make a good decision for us. No one can make a better decision for you but your own self. Because the only person who can know you the best is you. So you have to trust yourself. You might make bad decisions first few times. But that is OK nobody becomes flawless in the first time.

Make a positive image of yourself


When you'll stand in front of the mirror you'll have a lot of thoughts about what you have done to other people or yourself in the past. At some point you may hate yourself for being a bad person in the past.  You may have to recuperate yourself and stop doing all the bad things. Because nobody is born as a bad person, inner you is still clean and clear. So just think positive about you. If you get any negative thought about you, stop yourself, ask yourself why are you thinking like that and tell yourself that you can still be good and do good.

Care about yourself



We think people care for us but they don't. You have to care for your own self. Nobody is going to come and tell you that you are lacking of health and fitness. They are just going to tell you, oh! It seems like you don't care for yourself see how weak you have become. And you are going to reply oh yeah! Just the load of studies or work. Stop doing that and start actually caring for yourself. Start caring for your appetite and meals of the day.

 Start caring for your skin. Start caring for your body. Start caring for your mind and do contemplation about yourself for at least ten minutes. Give a break to yourself from work and studies. Your work or studies can absolutely wait for you. For some time do the things which you want to do. Do the things which make you happy.

Make yourself a priority


For us our priorities are our work, our studies and other people. Make yourself the first priority. No matter what happens just do what you want. All over the day focus on yourself and don't ever forget that there is a “you” in the world. We buy a lot of gifts for others to make them happy. Start buying yourself gifts and give them to you. If you are waiting for other people to buy you the things you want then you are going to just wait. Give that thing as a gift to yourself.

Become perfect in your eyes

When you love a person no matter how bad he is, no matter what other people say about him he is perfect in your eyes. Love yourself and make yourself perfect in your eyes. If you are fat and people say that you are fat, it doesn't matter because you are the fittest person in your eyes. If you are dark and people tell you that you are dark then it doesn't matter because in your eyes you are the most beautiful person. If you are short and people tell you that you are short, it doesn’t matter because you are the perfect in your eyes. If you are lame and people tell you that you are lame, it doesn't matter but you are lame because it doesn't mean that you forget your all flaws and become perfect in your eyes if you are lame then you have to work on it. 

  Whatever people say take it in a positive way not in a negative way. If they tell you that you are useless, think, firstly I am not useless but probably there's a thing lacking in my work and I have to work more to make that thing perfect. And in this way you'll love yourself more for being capable of doing new things.

Make yourself strong

Put fear aside. Make a decision and start acting on it. The things that scare you, embrace them. If people tell you that you can’t do it then tell yourself you can absolutely do it. You can’t just make weakness disappear if you're ignoring that weakness. Stop overlooking your fear and weakness, start facing it, understand what your weakness is, work on it and make it disappear. Your weakness will become your strength.

Enjoy your own company


When you'll be the person best known by you then you'll automatically enjoy your own company. Try to spend time alone with your own and in that time try to understand yourself better, do the things that make you happy. Share your daily routine to yourself, gossip with your own self about people who you like or dislike. Tell yourself the things you want to do in your life and tell yourself the things you want to stop doing. In this way become your own best friend.

We all need to know and read more about loving ourselves. Trust me once you start loving yourself, life would be a lot easier.
                    


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